Friendships are important to a teenage girl. It builds and allows a sense of community among each other. But why is it so complicated? Why do some people seem to keep their friendships, but others never do? Let’s talk about it.

these photos are NOT mine 🙂

How to maintain friendships during hard times

Friendships aren’t meant to be complicated, but it’s common and completely normal for friendships to struggle. 

• Communication

Communication is a really important aspect of maintaining friendships. Let’s say you have an issue with your friend. If you’re not vocal about it, they’re not going to know and they’re just going to keep doing the same thing over and over again. And it’s just going to get on your nerves and then the friendship is going to end because of it. Sometimes lack of communication can negatively impact a friendship. In the same breath, communicating in the wrong way can also cause damage. Make sure you’re careful with what you say and try to express yourself without hurting yourself or someone else. communication can lead to an end of friendship because one person can be hurt by it so make sure you watch what you’re saying. 

• Going out

I feel like this is kind of a given, you know, going out with regularly with your friends. If you don’t really text often or if you’re just a bad texter in general, going out just allows you to catch up with each other. It’s also nice seeing each other face to face as well. 

• Understanding that there are times when you aren’t gonna talk every single day.

Me and my best friend of a couple of years ago didn’t talk every day. We got busy with our school work like studying for the SAT, or just life in general. We realized that we’re not going to talk every single day and that doesn’t make us bad friends, it just means we’re busy and we’re not going to hang out all the time either.

Friendship Losses 

Losing a friend is like a breakup, as a friendship is still a relationship at the end of the day. To me, it hurts even more (I’ve never been in a relationship..) than a breakup.

• Leave it alone.

Don’t bring the problem up again until you think that you are ready. I know for me personally if I or someone brings up a problem when I’m still angry about it, I’m just going to go off on them and I’m going to say things that I really don’t mean. Make sure that you’re ready to talk about a situation before you do. 

• Make sure you have a mature talk and see if there are any misunderstandings.

After a friend of mine and I fell out for a while, we talked it out and realized that it was just a really big misunderstanding. 

• If the other person doesn’t want to talk, that is enough closure.

Sometimes the only closure you need is the fact that the other person disrespected you, and isn’t mature enough to own up and address it.

• If you are the problem, don’t act like you aren’t.

Address your side of the situation and apologize. If you like people nowadays play the victims so often and they don’t realize that they are also part of the problem honestly my thing is that even if you weren’t the one who caused the Friendship to end even though you didn’t make it like do something bad the fact that you still allowed it to happen to you the fact that you still stayed even when you knew what disrespected you and you didn’t speak up about it that’s also toxic and that’s also part of the problem because you’re disrespecting yourself .

• It’s gonna take a while to get over it, but don’t pretend as if you are okay.

Feel your emotions and give yourself time to get over it. Once that time is up, you must stop feeling sorry for yourself. Life goes on.

• See what you learned from the friendship.

Even if it isn’t worth keeping, still try to end on good terms and communicate any miscommunications if necessary.

How to be a good friend:

• Listen to the person if they have any issues
• Don’t bring up things they don’t feel comfortable with, respect their boundaries and triggers
• Surprise them if they like surprises or gift them things they’ve been talking about
• Don’t give advice if they didn’t ask for it. If they’re ranting, ask them if they want you to listen only or give advice too.
• If they ask you to stop doing something, just stop. Don’t do it again to annoy them. If you forgot, you can let them know
• Congratulate them and celebrate when they do something good
• Put effort into the friendship. Just call, text, or check in.
• Communicate any issues you have

How to spot a good friend:

• They’re there for you no matter what
• They celebrate your successes
• If there’s a will there’s a way. A friend will make time for you if they want to
• They give you opportunities and they look out for you
• They are kind to others and don’t constantly complain or bring others down. They don’t talk about their other close friends to you. If they are talking about others to you, they’re definitely talking about you to others
• They are respectful and kind to you. They don’t make snarky comments
• They own up to their actions and they do not play the victim
• They do not think that your existence is a competition
• You feel uplifted and happy with them, not sad and drained

Making friends:

• Give compliments and GENUINE compliments to people. And smile
• Be loving. You receive what you give
• Go places where you think you’d like the people there. 
• Don’t force anyone to be your friend. You’ll actually end up scaring them away lol